i personally feel that pain serves a HUGE role in molding us into better people. that does not at all mean that it is fun to go through. as a matter of fact it down right SUCKS most of the time! but, i think we all sit with a choice, once we have in fact managed to make it out of that painful place, to learn what can be learned and use those trials to make us better, or wallow in self pity, becoming resentful and bitter. i have seen both in many people. i think i have experienced both personally. but prefer the former to the latter!

also,

when you say, “I have encountered many a well-meaning Christian who offers up words of encouragement. Yet, so very often, I do not feel encouraged by these encounters!”, i FULLY agree and am with you on that. i think many christians struggle with the true meaning of “compassion” and therefore offer words and other antics that are in no way comforting. i am sure you know, the word “compassion” comes from two latin words cum (with) and passio (to suffer): to suffer with. Therefore these “words of encouragement” are often shallow, unless they are based in a spirit and willingness to walk alongside and “suffer with” the person. just my thoughts.

Yes, i also love that story of Jesus! i think he lived an entire life of compassion. I mean, the guy didn’t even have a home and therefore truly “suffered with” all of the people he was daily walking with. I may not know the answer to your question, but i agree that attitude plays a huge role! i think positivity can be found in the midst of pain, but it is always easier to look back and learn lessons after it has taken place. but yes, i do believe there is a place for learning and being positive right in the midst of it all. i guess continuously striving to see the “bigger picture”, seeing that the pain will not last, getting perspective on your individual pain in comparison to the pain the the world and the pain that others are going through (though in social work/psychology they teach us that “trauma” cannot and should not be compared because different people experience trauma in different ways. someone could literally be traumatized by a chipped nail, whilst it may take seeing a loved one get shot and killed before their eyes before they experience trauma.), and what i feel the most important thing is to hope. not wish, but hope. to wish is to want something but not necessarily believe it will hapen. hope is when you want something and truly believe it can and will happen. so for me, in those difficult times i find that little bit of hope to hold on to, even when it is not enough to grip onto, and i tighten my grip as tight as possible and hold on for dear life!

We can learn alot from pain! imagine the first lesson in pain that the world ever had when Adam and Eve got thrown out of the garden! i am sure that they were smacked in the face with all of the things that they took for granted, and deeply depressed with the reality that they were cut off from the Creator they had grown to love. i am sure they had waves and waves of reveltions within that pain! but yeah, i repeat myself in saying that pain is not easy, but i do feel it is necessary.